{"id":211,"date":"2017-07-14T14:30:50","date_gmt":"2017-07-14T20:30:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ferniekids.com\/?p=211"},"modified":"2017-07-14T14:30:50","modified_gmt":"2017-07-14T20:30:50","slug":"13-powerful-phrases-proven-to-help-an-anxious-child-calm-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/2017\/07\/14\/13-powerful-phrases-proven-to-help-an-anxious-child-calm-down\/","title":{"rendered":"13 Powerful Phrases Proven to Help an Anxious Child Calm Down"},"content":{"rendered":"<header class=\"entry-header\"><\/header>\n<div class=\"entry-content\">\n<div class=\"wwsgd\"><\/div>\n<p>It&#8217;s time for school. The bus will arrive any minute. Maybe today will be the day!<\/p>\n<p>But then you hear it: \u201cMom, I don\u2019t want to go to school.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Your heart sinks. Here we go again. Every day it\u2019s the same conversation. The same conversation that usually ends up in tears, missing the bus and late for school again.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019ll be fine, honey!\u201d you say cheerfully. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing to worry about!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But your words fall on deaf ears. Your child is fully convinced that everything will NOT be ok and that there are PLENTY of things to worry about. Sighing, you sit down on the couch, wracking your brain for something more helpful to say.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12501     lazyloaded\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Helpful-Phrases-to-Calm-an-Anxious-Child.jpg?resize=800%2C1200\" alt=\"Helpful Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child\" width=\"800\" height=\"1200\" data-lazy-src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Helpful-Phrases-to-Calm-an-Anxious-Child.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>If your child <a href=\"http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/sensory-hacks-calm-an-angry-child\/\">struggles with anxiety<\/a>, you know the challenge of finding the right things to say when he or she is worried. It\u2019s not easy to connect without making the fears worse, while at the same time offering support and encouragement.<\/p>\n<p>Are you curious how you can help calm an anxious child?<\/p>\n<p><em>Today, my good friend and parent coach, <a href=\"https:\/\/imperfectfamilies.com\/parent-coaching\/\">Nicole from Imperfect Families<\/a>, is here to give some amazing tips on <strong>how to respond to your anxious child<\/strong>. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>Rather than telling your child \u201cYou\u2019ll be fine,\u201d or \u201cDon\u2019t worry about it,\u201d try one of these phrases the next time your child is feeling worried:<\/p>\n<h2>What to Say to Help an\u00a0Anxious Child Calm Down<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI am here; you are safe.\u201d<\/strong> Anxiety has a way of making things look worse and feel scarier than when we are not feeling worried. These words can offer comfort and safety when your child is feeling out of control, especially if they are at the height of their worry. If you\u2019re not sure what to say, this is an excellent go-to phrase!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cTell me about it.\u201d<\/strong> Give your child room to talk about their fears without interrupting. Some children need to have time to process through their thoughts. Do not offer solutions or try to fix it. Children sometimes do better with a set amount of time: \u201cLet\u2019s talk about your worries for 10 minutes.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cHow big is your worry?\u201d<\/strong> Help your child verbalize the size of their worry and give you an accurate picture of how it feels to them. They can represent their worry by using arm length (hands close together or arms stretched wide apart) or by drawing three circles on a paper (small, medium and large) and choosing the one that applies.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhat do you want to tell your worry?\u201d<\/strong> Explain to your child that worry is like an annoying \u201cworry bug\u201d that hangs around telling them to be worried. Create a few phrases, then give them permission to talk back to this \u201cworry bug.\u201d They can even <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imperfectfamilies.com\/2012\/11\/20\/anxious-child-teach-them-to-be-bossy-with-worries\/\">be bossy<\/a>: \u201cGo away!\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t have to listen to you!\u201d Use silly voices, and try it loud and quiet.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cCan you draw it?\u201d<\/strong> Many kids <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imperfectfamilies.com\/2014\/10\/13\/helping-kids-manage-anxiety-art\/\">cannot express their emotions with words<\/a>. Encourage them to draw, paint or create their worries on paper. When they are finished, make observations, and give them a chance to explain the significance: \u201cThat\u2019s a lot of blue!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cLet\u2019s change the ending.\u201d<\/strong> Anxious children often feel stuck in the same pattern without a way out. Help them see different options by telling their story, but leaving off the ending. Then, create a few <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imperfectfamilies.com\/2013\/04\/03\/the-power-of-a-story-helping-your-child-overcome-fears\/\">new endings<\/a>. Some can be silly, but at least one should be realistic for your child. Focus on your child conquering their fears with confidence!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhat other things do you know about (fill in the blank)?\u201d<\/strong> Some children feel empowered when they have more information about their fear (especially things like tornadoes, bees, elevators, etc.). Grab a book from the library, do a science experiment, research together online: How often does your fear happen? How do people stay safe?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/sensory-hacks-calm-an-angry-child\/\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7370     lazyloaded\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Hacks-for-Angry-Child-Facebook.jpg?resize=700%2C365\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" srcset=\"http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Hacks-for-Angry-Child-Facebook.jpg 700w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Hacks-for-Angry-Child-Facebook-300x156.jpg 300w\" alt=\"Hacks for Angry Child\" width=\"700\" height=\"365\" data-lazy-src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Hacks-for-Angry-Child-Facebook.jpg\" data-lazy-srcset=\"http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Hacks-for-Angry-Child-Facebook.jpg 700w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Hacks-for-Angry-Child-Facebook-300x156.jpg 300w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhich calming strategy do you want to use?\u201d<\/strong> Work proactively to create a <a href=\"http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/tips-calming-angry-child-explosive\/\">long list of calming strategies<\/a> your child enjoys. Practice them during the day, at random times when your child feels calm. When your child feels a worry sneaking into their thoughts, encourage them to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imperfectfamilies.com\/2013\/02\/13\/beyond-take-a-deep-breath-helping-your-anxious-child-practice-calming-strategies-at-home\/\">pick something from the list<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m going to take a deep breath.\u201d<\/strong> Sometimes our children are so worried that they resist our encouragement to pick a calming strategy. In this case, use yourself as the calming skill! Verbalize what you are doing and how it makes you feel. Some people hold their children close so they can feel the rise and fall of their chest as they breathe.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt\u2019s scary AND\u2026\u201d<\/strong> Acknowledge your child\u2019s fear without making it even more frightening by using the word \u201cAND.\u201d After the word \u201cand\u201d you can add phrases like, \u201cYou are safe.\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019ve conquered this fear before.\u201d or \u201cYou have a plan.\u201d This models an internal dialogue your child can use next time they are feeling worried.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI can\u2019t wait to hear about\u2026\u201d<\/strong> It\u2019s hard to see our kids suffer with worry. Many parents rush in to rescue their child from an anxiety-producing situation. Encourage your child that they will survive this difficult feeling by bringing up a topic to talk about when you\u2019re together later \u2014 what they did at recess, who they sat by at lunch, etc.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhat do you need from me?\u201d<\/strong> Instead of assuming that you know what your child needs, give them an opportunity to tell you what would help. Older kids may be able to verbalize if they need you to listen, give a hug, or help them find a solution. If you can\u2019t do it, give them their wish in fantasy: \u201cI wish grown ups could go to kindergarten too!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cThis feeling will pass.\u201d<\/strong> This may be a phrase you can both use when your child is at the height of panic. All feelings pass eventually. It often feels like they will never end, you won\u2019t make it through, or it\u2019s too hard. And that\u2019s OK. Don\u2019t let your brain get stuck in that moment; focus on the relief that is on the horizon.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.projectsensory.com\/product\/worries-get-big-book\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Anxiety and worry <\/a>look different for every child. Not every one of these strategies will work for your kids. You are the expert on your child. If you try something and it makes their worries worse, don\u2019t panic. Just pick something else from the list to try next time. Eventually, you will find a few phrases that are effective for sending a calm, encouraging and empowering message to your child.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.projectsensory.com\/product\/worries-get-big-book\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">When My Worries Get too Big<\/a> is a great addition to add to any library if you have a child who worries or is anxious.\u00a0Engaging and easy to read, this illustrated children s book is filled with opportunities for children to participate in developing their own self-calming strategies. Children who use the simple strategies in this charming book, illustrated by the author, will find themselves relaxed and ready to focus on work or play!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-9033     lazyloaded\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child.jpg?resize=800%2C800\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" srcset=\"http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child.jpg 800w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child-300x300.jpg 300w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child-700x700.jpg 700w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child-280x280.jpg 280w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child-225x225.jpg 225w\" alt=\"What Can I Say To My Anxious Child\" width=\"800\" height=\"800\" data-lazy-src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child.jpg\" data-lazy-srcset=\"http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child.jpg 800w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child-300x300.jpg 300w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child-700x700.jpg 700w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child-280x280.jpg 280w, http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/What-Can-I-Say-To-My-Anxious-Child-225x225.jpg 225w\" data-lazy-sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\">Print this Free Phrases Cheat Sheet to Help Your Anxious Child in the Moment<\/h3>\n<p>This post comes with a<a href=\"https:\/\/llamedia.leadpages.co\/leadbox\/14360e273f72a2%3A169271feef46dc\/5713050069893120\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-leadbox=\"https:\/\/llamedia.leadpages.co\/leadbox\/14360e273f72a2%3A169271feef46dc\/5713050069893120\/\" data-leadbox-id=\"14360e273f72a2:169271feef46dc\"> free printable <\/a>to help with\u00a0you in a bind.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">I have made a <a href=\"https:\/\/llamedia.leadpages.co\/leadbox\/14360e273f72a2%3A169271feef46dc\/5713050069893120\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-leadbox=\"https:\/\/llamedia.leadpages.co\/leadbox\/14360e273f72a2%3A169271feef46dc\/5713050069893120\/\" data-leadbox-id=\"14360e273f72a2:169271feef46dc\">simple printable <\/a>for you that\u00a0has all of these phrases in a simple and easy to display format. Place it on the fridge, in a frame or even in your child\u2019s calm down spot so they remember them as well. Don\u2019t get caught struggling to remember your options!<\/p>\n<p>This printable simplifies it!<\/p>\n<p>Here is a sneak preview\u2026<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/llamedia.leadpages.co\/leadbox\/14360e273f72a2%3A169271feef46dc\/5713050069893120\/\" data-leadbox=\"https:\/\/llamedia.leadpages.co\/leadbox\/14360e273f72a2%3A169271feef46dc\/5713050069893120\/\" data-leadbox-id=\"14360e273f72a2:169271feef46dc\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12491     lazyloaded\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Say-to-calm-an-Anxious-Child.jpg?resize=816%2C536\" alt=\"Say to calm an Anxious Child\" width=\"816\" height=\"536\" data-lazy-src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Say-to-calm-an-Anxious-Child.jpg\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3><b>Download Your Free Printable<\/b><\/h3>\n<ol>\n<li>\n<ol>\n<li>\n<ol>\n<li>\n<ol>\n<li><b>Download the checklist<\/b>. You\u2019ll get the printable, plus join my weekly newsletter!<a href=\"https:\/\/llamedia.leadpages.co\/leadbox\/14360e273f72a2%3A169271feef46dc\/5713050069893120\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-leadbox=\"https:\/\/llamedia.leadpages.co\/leadbox\/14360e273f72a2%3A169271feef46dc\/5713050069893120\/\" data-leadbox-id=\"14360e273f72a2:169271feef46dc\">\u00a0Click Here to Download and Subscribe<\/a><\/li>\n<li><b>Print<\/b>. Any paper will do the trick, but card stock would be ideal.<\/li>\n<li><b>Place it on your refrigerator.<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><em>Note: If your child\u2019s worries are impacting their school functioning, sleep or eating habits, or are negatively impacting their daily routine, seek support from a mental health professional.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-15734 alignleft     lazyloaded\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Nicole-Schwarz-300.jpg?resize=153%2C208\" alt=\"\" width=\"153\" height=\"208\" data-lazy-src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lemonlimeadventures.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Nicole-Schwarz-300.jpg\" \/>Nicole Schwarz is a mom to 3 little girls, a Licensed Therapist and Parent Coach. Check out her blog,\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.imperfectfamilies.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Imperfect Families<\/a>\u00a0for more positive parenting tips and learn more about how\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.imperfectfamilies.com\/parent-coaching\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Parent Coaching<\/a>\u00a0can help you find solutions to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imperfectfamilies.com\/2013\/02\/13\/beyond-take-a-deep-breath-helping-your-anxious-child-practice-calming-strategies-at-home\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">your parenting challenges<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h3>Check out these Parenting Resources from Nicole:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/imperfectfamilies.com\/parent-coaching\/\">Parent coaching sessions<br \/>\n<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/imperfectfamilies.com\/loving-anxious-child\/\">Loving an Anxious Child<br \/>\n<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/imperfectfamilies.com\/anxious-parents-anxious-kids\/\">How to Break the Cycle of Anxiety in Your Family<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>This article originally read by Fernie Kids at http:\/\/lemonlimeadventures.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s time for school. The bus will arrive any minute. Maybe today will be the day! But then you hear it: \u201cMom, I don\u2019t want to go to school.\u201d Your heart sinks. Here we go again. Every day it\u2019s the same conversation. The same conversation that usually ends up in\u2026<\/p>\n<p> <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/2017\/07\/14\/13-powerful-phrases-proven-to-help-an-anxious-child-calm-down\/\"><span>Continue reading<\/span><i class=\"crycon-right-dir\"><\/i><\/a> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[48,4,11,8,10,3,7],"tags":[49,50,28,55,53,54,52,51],"class_list":["post-211","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anxiety","category-arts","category-cognitive-development","category-emotional-development","category-language-development","category-learning","category-social-development","tag-anxiety","tag-calm","tag-children","tag-empower","tag-how-to-help","tag-scared","tag-worries","tag-worry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8AxIo-3p","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=211"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":212,"href":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211\/revisions\/212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=211"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=211"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ferniekids.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=211"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}